


this earth is empty without you (but the grave is not)

by violetmessages



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones Friendship, Hurt No Comfort, Post-Series 03: Children of Earth (Torchwood)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetmessages/pseuds/violetmessages
Summary: Ianto Jones' funeral happens on a perfectly sunny day. Gwen hates every minute of it.
Relationships: Gwen Cooper & Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 20
Kudos: 35





	this earth is empty without you (but the grave is not)

**Author's Note:**

> Much love to Nik for editing! <3

The day is bright, the air crisp and clear, the sky a bright blue, so unlike most days in Cardiff. It feels like a slap in the face, like the universe is rejoicing when it should be coming to a standstill. Gwen sinks down into her chair, Rhys’ hand a vice around hers, which, if she’s being honest, is the only thing keeping her stable at the moment. 

The funeral is shite, and Ianto would have hated every second of it, but she wasn’t allowed to plan it. She hadn’t been given authority over any of it; her Torchwood authority is as good as dirt now, so she’d been forced to relinquish control over to his sister, a woman that she thought hated her because she was part of the organization that got him killed. Rhiannon is sitting in the front, holding her husband’s hand, her two children fidgeting softly in their black clothes, like they don’t want to be here. That’s expected - Gwen wouldn’t expect much more of children. 

But the glare Rhiannon gives her is - well - she knows that Rhiannon doesn’t want her here, doesn’t trust her, doesn’t think that she knows - knew - Ianto well. She’s wrong. Gwen knows that she knows - knew - Ianto more than anyone, other than Jack. 

It didn’t matter that she didn’t know his past or what his father did, even though it bites at her that he lied. She _knew_ him. She knew about his anxieties, his fears, his disquietude about his life and his relationship that he never actually said out loud, but she knew enough to pick on. The way he’d drink coffee at an ice cream shop and the way he’d buy those stupid little caramel candies for her, just because she liked them. The way that he’d laugh at Brenda with her and console her when her mother was being far too much for Gwen to handle. The way he’d turn his nose up for her cluttered desk - the one she’d never see again, her traitorous brain added - but would never actually clean because she had a place for each item. The way he is - was - the most selfless person she knows - knew - and how she’d give anything, anything at all, to tell him that she loved him, at least once. 

How Ianto was all but her brother in name, how they fought and laughed and _lived_ together and how the fact that her child was never going to meet their Uncle Ianto made her want to rage at the unfairness of the universe, the stupid universe that took her little brother away before he deserved to go and left her alone on this cold, cruel Earth.

He would have been a good uncle. 

The stupid minister goes on and on, and Gwen thinks about how Ianto would have hated that man. Then finally, ages later, the service is over, and everyone goes up to pay their respects, respects to a man with a life that they never knew. She grits her teeth and waits until she and Rhiannon and her family are the only ones left in the graveyard. 

Rhiannon looks at her like she expects Gwen to leave, but Gwen has faced worse monsters who want nothing but her imminent death, so she plants her feet firmly into the mud and waits for Rhiannon to pay her respects and leave. She’s at a considerable distance, a respectful distance, where she can’t hear her, so she thinks it’s only fair. Rhys stands next to her, her one support in all of this, his eyes filled with tears, and waits for her. He’s a good man, one she doesn’t deserve but cherishes anyway. 

She waits and waits, and finally, Rhiannon leaves with her family, casting a final glance over at Gwen. It’s a look filled with sorrow and perhaps some kind of understanding. She’ll probably never see Rhiannon again, but she’s glad their last look isn’t filled with anger. 

Gwen walks up to the slate grey stone and stares at it with contempt. 

_Ianto Jones. 1983 - 2009. Gave his life to defend the children of this Earth._

She looks at it and hates it. It’s a horrible thing to want to desecrate a gravestone, but that’s all she wants to do. She wants to pull at it and smash it and shatter it in her hands, wants to remove any indication that Ianto’s dead, that his cold corpse is below her feet, rotting in the ground, instead of by her side, living, breathing, ready to make some kind of dry comment about mud. 

A flash of rage bubbles inside her, and she grabs one of the many flower bouquets beside it and _hurls_ it at the stupid gravestone.

“Fuck!” She screams. “Fuck you! Fuck it all - fuck you for going into that stupid building! Fuck you for dying, you bastard. And fuck you, Jack! Fuck you most of all!”

Rhys tries to calm her down, rubbing at her arms, pleading for her to calm down, but it’s too late. Gwen’s always had an explosive temper, and she can’t bear to be quiet any longer. 

“Fuck you, Jack, for leaving me and not even having the fucking balls to come to this stupid thing! Fuck you for fucking off the minute you could! You’re a coward, Jack, and I hate you! I fucking hate you,” she screeches, then collapses to the ground, sobbing. 

Rhys’ arms are around her, comforting, and he’s making shushing noises, trying to calm her down, trying to make sure her blood pressure doesn’t rise too much - bad for the baby after all - but there is nothing left in her to care. She’s alone, she’s alone and tired and carrying a child in a world that doesn’t care for children, and she's so, so angry and sad and _tired_. 

She knows that Ianto would hate how she’s acting, how he would immediately try to calm her, how he’d be so sad that she was shattered now, shattered because of him, but he’s not here to hate it. He’s not here to pick her up. And he’ll never be here. 

She hopes that wherever Ianto is, that he knows how much she loves him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos/Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Find me on tumblr [here](https://violetmessages.tumblr.com/)


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